this is my jerry springer moment|
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|Saturday, October 10th, 2009|
Wow, it became cold so early this year. I'm loving it...
I'm in Dallas. At the nice and clean WESTIN Park Central. With the air conditioner down low to keep it near 67 degrees in the room. Wearing my old-fashioned blue pajamas. Sitting in a comfortable chair next to the giant window. It's dark and grey outside. Been up since 7AM, enjoying the total silence....well, total silence with the random door slam somewhere out in the hallway. No "HOUSEKEEPING!" calls yet- but hopefully the DO NOT DISTURB on the door will keep them away until I get out of here and wander down to CRATE&BARREL to admire the Petrie Sofa that I've enjoyed wet dreams about for the past few years.
I saw GREY GARDENS: THE MUSICAL last night at Watertower Theatre. It was a great production- it was lovely, sad, beautiful. I'm glad I was able to catch it-
I woke up and found out EVIL DEAD: THE MUSICAL is showing downtown - I might watch that tonight!
well, more later.
|Monday, May 18th, 2009|
Spent an amount of time browsing through myspace pages, surprised by who's dead, surprised by who's still alive. What a world.
|Sunday, April 26th, 2009|
Started the week, almost as all my week's begin: with the idea that my life was coming to it's sudden and abrupt end.
Usually, the week picks up and I'm my good old self again by Friday night. This week, while not totally terrible- despite how melodramatic I just might try to make it sound, wasn't quite as terrible as some others. Holy shit, I'm already beginning to ramble and contradict myself. All in a paragraph!
This reminds me of something I said earlier today, Sunday morning: "...and that was the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life....
(reflecting and reflecting)
...oh, if only I'd kept a book of the thing I've done and then said that same damn sentence, it would be a helluva riot of a read."
Monday: A small pain in my side, first noticed Saturday or Sunday seemed to be growing, getting worse. I almost left work early and went to the Doctor, as I spent most of the day at work bitchin' and moanin' about the pain after deciding it was a cancerous tumor which would reveal the last three weeks of my life OR at best, just my appendix near exploding.
But I didn't leave work and go to the Doctor. I went to Best Buy and bought a new and shiny laptop computer. It's lovely and fast and distracted me from the pain in my side. Because that's basically how I live- with denial and shiny-object distraction.
Tuesday: Went to the Doctor. It's just a kidney stone.
Wednesday: At my job, we've got some interesting (some) artwork. Some of it is big and obviously expensive and even signed prints or originals. On the wall just outside of my office, (not a private office- there are seven of us in there- I'm not trying to sound all important or pretentious), there is a large, bright, beautiful picture of Marilyn Monroe, sitting in a chair with a cocktail and laughing. I've often stopped and looked at it, because the colors are so bright- it looks as tho it's hand-tinted, on a thick paper-print thingy- the kind of technique I can't say- but it's big and beautiful and even signed- it just looks like an expensive thing, and makes me just wonder how it came to be there- and all kinds of things- even my friend and coworker Kim has remarked about this pretty thing, and how she wishes she could take it home. So what I'm trying to get to- it's this large and very pretty, bright art piece with Marilyn Monroe - sitting in a chair with a cocktail.
I'm walking from the water cooler back to my desk and that's when I notice it
With her legs spread, Marilyn is fully displaying one of the biggest, in-yer-face, clearly outlined camel toe.
IT IS GIGANTIC. She's sitting there with a big smile and big as hell camel toe. For all the world to forever see...
Now, because I just can't stop thinking about it- I google it- "Marilyn Monroe camel toe," and it turns out that I'm (naturally) not the first person to notice.
I can't work anymore, all I can do is think about it- and my mind eventually takes me to the moment the picture is being taken. Surely the photographer noticed this...or was this on purpose? No! It had to be just one of those things... I began speaking in that funny voice in my head and I just wanna take over that photographer's mind and say to her, "FOR GOD'S SAKE, MARILYN! PULL YOUR PANTS OUT OF YOUR VA
GINA!" This sentence become my catchphrase the rest of the week, for the moment it's said in my mind, it's on repeat.
Thursday: I go downtown and see THE LION KING. I'd never thought I'd see it...or planned on it, even. I got a wild hair on Thursday afternoon at work. Checked for tickets, found some seats in the sixth row of the orchestra (not perfect, on the left, a little too close) and bought them... Ended up being right on the aisle the elephant walks down!
I liked it, especially that famous opening, but was bored/annoyed by all of the very too childish moments. For some reason, kids on stage (except for RUTHLESS! of course) bother the hell out of me. I've never felt charmed by the sounds of children singing. Just highly annoyed. But it was fun to see.
Saturday: Went downtown to check out the "Festival of the Arts." Which I really think they should just fucking retitle it to: "The Festival of Decor For Business and/or Hotel-Motel Owners Who Just Need Something On The Wall."
It was nothing much to see, except for the people- I saw three friends, Officer Paula (Oklahoma's Own Transexual Cop!), and one of the guys recently arrested for puttin' da moves on an undercover cop at Lake Hefner. I'd just viewed the mug shots of the sixteen arrestees online at newsok.com, and I rarely forget a face.
Well, that was my week, basically. Lots of just resting and laying around. No parties, no happenings.
I did, during the week, read Wallace Shawn's play, AUNT DAN AND LEMON. I was getting into bed and happened upon in in an anthology of "Great Plays of the 1980's." I didn't really like it, or find it much entertaining- but it did make me think more about things I think about in great details lately. But that's an entire update for the future. Current Mood: exhausted
|Tuesday, March 17th, 2009|
will I ever learn NOT to play "THE MANSON FAMILY: AN OPERA" when I'm home alone???? Current Mood: freaked out
|Tuesday, November 4th, 2008|
|Tuesday, September 30th, 2008|
fighting an intense and crashingly evil depression.
dont think that I'll ever find a new and better job
or make anything of my life
or clean my apartment
if only I had a prescription for xanax to go along with laying in bed and watching NOTES ON A SCANDAL over and over
|Wednesday, March 12th, 2008|
|the email I just sent to SALLY KERN
For anyone who's not heard, Sally Kern is the local dumbass politician who was recorded while saying some of the most idiotic shit about the supposed and famous "gay agenda," that I've EVER heard. As I keep hearing the tape online, and keep seeing shit about this ugly, evil, little hobbit looking cow, I decided to just send her an email.
The subject line reads, "Dear Mrs. Kern. Thank You."
And the body of the email goes like this:
Yes, Mrs. Kern, you heard that correctly. Thank you.
Thank you so much for making our state the FUCKING LAUGHINGSTOCK of the United States. It had just been too long since we were made to look like a pan-handled wagon full of backwoods hillbillies.
Listen, I'm not saying you should support the homos. I'm not even saying that you should NOT speak out against the homos. Preach against homosexuality loud and clear!
All that I'm asking, is that you please learn to speak correctly and research some solid facts, so that you don't embarrass all of us by sounding like Ma Kettle on the back of a junked-out pick-up truck, confidently spewing some of the most insane crackpot theories I've ever heard.
Please, however, betray your distaste for gays long enough to hire one to do your fucking hair. It needs it.
Kory Michael Kight
Current Mood: amused
A registered Oklahoma voter, with many voting friends and a large extended Oklahoma family who also loves to vote.
Feel free to send your own email to the little firstname.lastname@example.org
|Saturday, January 26th, 2008|
SO, I double-click on the fuckin' internet button, and before I can get anywhere- YAHOO.COM pops up. And the news there informs me that Egypt is closing the border at the Gaza strip to stop the "influx."
Really, please. If you, dear Egypt, will just let everyone in, then maybe that freakin' strip will just empty out and I CAN STOP FUCKING HEARING ABOUT IT.
|Monday, April 16th, 2007|
so what have I been up to lately? well...that would take too long to go into much detail...and I'm at work.
I'm taking baby steps at this updating the old LJ thing, please be patient. Why, thank you!
One thing I've been up to is
|Sunday, April 15th, 2007|
of all the senses, the sense of loss is the hardest to fight Current Mood: gloomy
|Thursday, January 12th, 2006|
...in my dream last night,
I had a bucket (!YES! A BUCKET!) of cherry flavored Lortab gumballs.
...and Erika and I sat on the sofa and chewed them, watching TV. About every few minutes, one of us would reach for another and say, "The last one already lost it's flavor!!!"
Then we'd laugh and go back to our silent staring and chewing.
|Wednesday, January 11th, 2006|
Last night, I had a dream that a little trailer was parked the parking lot outside my work. It had a big sign advertising that you could go inside and meet a Queen Elizabeth impersonator for 1.00. So I went in, and the Queen look-a-like is in there, in a throne. I handed my dollar to a guy for my admission, then walked up to her. She shook my hand. Then I walked out. I thought it was so cool that I ran inside and told everyone. Everyone from my office went outside to meet the "Queen" for 1.00.
The line to see the fake Queen grew and grew.
The local news was there, doing a story about the amazing popularity of the Queen impersonator.
I went thru the line again, for another handshake.
and then I woke up.
|Sunday, January 8th, 2006|
|us homos went to Brokeback Mountain and all I got was a ticket stub
So I went to see BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN.
I wasn't looking forward to seeing it. I hadn't spent months excited about the day it would open in Oklahoma City. I wasn't one of the queens holding my breath in anticipation. I wasn't interested in it... Most of all, I was sick of hearing about shit about these straight actors playing gay. Big fuckin deal.
Anyways. So I saw the movie. I was bored to tears through almost all of it. Whiney depressed closet queen bullshit. Yeah, so it's set in the 1960's in small towns where the gay revolution is yet to hit. (speaking of- WHAT gay revolution, anyways? Let's cause some trouble, sisters!) So they can't be out of the closet. Yeah, they're tough enough to ride some horses and beat up on each other, but they can't be a man enough to beat the odd gay basher that comes their way? Anger, Bitterness, laziness, emotional paralysis, blah and blah.
Oh, so it's a "LOVE STORY." Yeah. It was such a beautiful love story.
EXCUSE ME? A love story? Exactly how did the little not-so-lone rangers fall in love? All they fucking did for an hour was hang out on a mountain NOT TALKING unless they're bitching about eating beans and then BAM! Exactly. BAM! So they get DRUNK, end up in a little tent, where they fuck like a couple of mentally challenged weightlifters with gold medals from the Special Olympics. Seriously. BAM BAM BAM, pant pant pant, and then some anal sex with only a dab (A DAB) of saliva. What THE FUCK?
So it's a love story. And for the next ten hours, we can watch how miserable they get, as they succumb to heterosexual marriages while attempting to carry on a long distance thang using POSTCARDS. I just sat there bored and wanting the movie to take off in more exciting directions. I wanted the spurned wife to go Andrea Yates style and drown all the kids. I wanted the cowboys to go militant fag and just start beating the shit out of random heterosexual passersby. I wanted the two guys to just stop being fucking miserable and move to the ranch of their dreams! JUST STOP BEING SO FREAKIN MOODY!
And it couldn't have been historically correct- but the nearest place Ol' Boy can pick up a male prostitute was in MEXICO? (This, actually, was the most enjoyable part of the movie. I was cracking up as I realized he was about to pick up a ho while little kids are trying to sell CHICKLETS... and it also led to one of the better lines of dialog: "Hell yeah I went to Mexico!"
Yes, children. THAT was the good line from the movie. I know, I know, the crowd seems to be swearing by the oh-so stolen from a Lifetime movie line, "I WISH I KNEW HOW TO QUIT YOU," but I much preferred the line about Mexico.
And speaking of LIFETIME, that is where this cloying piece of bullshit movie belongs.
|Tuesday, October 11th, 2005|
My surgery was originally scheduled for today.
Instead of being unconcsious and punctured, I am at the downtown library- my favorite midweek day off hangout.
I really can't believe the place isn't totally packed and crowded at every given moment. Hello? Free books, magazines, CDs. Free movie rentals. Free internet with beautifully typing keyboards and large flat panel monitors. Holy shit, it's a little heaven.
I hang out in the library because I can't seem to ever do anything if I'm at home. If I'm at home, I either sit on the couch or sit in front of my computer- and do nothing productive.
Not that updating the livejournal is productive- but I've been productive in my time here!
I've been doing some major work on my play lately. Sometimes I get too excited at my ideas. Things are just pouring out of me. I've always, when asked what the play was about, explained that it was about exploitation- and it is, but it's really about emotional overload and collapse. That's what it's about. And just talking about it helps me to work!
...And speaking of my love for the downtown library, I'm going to hold the first reading of my play in one of the study rooms.
Monday was a good day at work. My department has recently been relocated to the northeast side of the building. I've done nothing but hate the new location until Monday. Everything started to fall back into a pattern. Fuckit, how I love patterns.
After work, watched some Wife-Swap or Mother-Swap, whatever the hell that piece of crap show is... I only started watching it because as I was flipping thru channels, I glimpsed a young little pageant girl. And how I love love love those little pageant girls! Jonbenet, what could your potential have been??? Playboy Playmate, High priced Vegas call girl, Wife of a senator? Who knows where you could've gone.
Did anyone else catch the documentary on Showtime (or was it HBO??) about child beauty pageants, called "LIVING DOLLS?" Fuck, I wish it were available on DVD. I couldn't get enough of it...how I wish I had recorded it! If anybody has a copy,,,
But back to the beginning- yes, my surgery is rescheduled. Due to the rules at work, I must use all my vacation time before short term disability can be used... and I don't want to use my hardearned and precious vacation time to lay around damaged, waiting to heal. I'm using my vacation time while being mostly well, then will go on short term disability for my surgery.
I'm scurred. I wish I weren't so alone.
|Sunday, October 9th, 2005|
Went to the Camelot Club on 10th Street for some "beer buckets." They aren't really buckets full of beer. It's just a special. You pay seven dollars, and you get four beers- but not even at the same time. You get the first bottle and three dirty and worn Dixie cups- which you redeem for another bottle when you're ready. Classy!
It was karaoke night. And it was wonderful entertainment, I highly recommend it. Between the enthusiastic hostess- who provides the most insightful comments during her song's instrumental breaks, to the off-key wailing of two older women named Pat and Pam. (Erika was cracking up and "taking notes, on her cell phone- the note read: "PAT AND PAM SING THE HITS!" and that about made me piss my pants.
Holly Busch joined us mid-bucket. She got her own bucket. It was buckets all around!
We tried to find songs to sing. Never did. I wasn't yet drunk enough to perform an unforgettable rendition of "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going."
Holly was hungry... so we decided to head down the street to the ever classy topless bar and anything-fried restaurant- THE RED DOG for some dinner and boobietainment. Holly, for some reason, was embarrassed to be ordering food, and she strictly forbid the counter guy from screaming "HOLLY!!!" into the microphone when our snacks were ready. So we're sitting there, and what could be the voice of God screams "HOLLLYYYYYYYY!"
She about had a tantrum. Which, I think was actually just a warm up for Holly and Erika's amazing way of getting out of the 20.00 minimum bar tab. NOW- under normal conditions, 20.00 is nothing to spend. Especially when Erika AND Holly AND Kory are involved. But the Red Dog's giant pitchers of rough n tough beer weren't easy to put away. We managed to drink two. And my head is still aching. (Of course, I did drink about six beers at the Camelot Club, and then a few more later on...)
Our fun at the Red Dog was over. It was time to move on. Erika went to the Showroom for some party. I wish I'd gone, it sounds like it was a riot and a half. Dammit, I have good times with Erika!
Favorite Moments from last night:
Erika, saying, "I wanna go to Dallas! Dallas, Kory! We can rent a Buick and go to Dallas! No! We don't even NEED a Buick, we'll just go in my car!"
Me 'n Holly's reenactment of a ride at the State Fair.
Oh, why don't I have a camcorder. I need some of this shit on video before I get too much older.
|Tuesday, October 4th, 2005|
all that I have to say, is that I am in love with Sari Bunchuk Wontner. I am going to find a way to give her the fame she deserves.
|Tuesday, September 27th, 2005|
I know I never ever post anything but mindless surveys. For those of you closest to me, you know why.
But I'm very bored today. Very bored and all alone in my apartment.
I really like to live alone, except for when I'm feeling talkative.
SO- Went to my appointment with the Surgeon today. I'm having my gall bladder removed. They want to do it two weeks from today. At first, the scheduling-person was recommending THIS FRIDAY. What the hell? Why haven't I had any of the insurance issues everyone else seems to have? Was I just lucky and with the best insurance company in the world? I haven't wanted or waited for anything. Strange, as I'm always imagining the worst case scenario and ready to face it...
So yeah, the "kidney stone" turned out to be a "broken" gall bladder and it'll go bye-bye in a couple of weeks.
I'm scared. I've never had any kind of surgery. I've never really been SICK before. And I don't really consider myself SICK right now. Just a case of discomfort that supplies me with legal painkillers.
*** So at every Doctor appointment that I've been to- I'v had to fill out all those history forms. I've been honest on them, even when I didn't want to... Next to the the "Alcohol?" I HAVE checked "Yes" and either circled "More" after the spaces for 1, 2, 3, 4 Drinks. (Or, on one, just filled in the blank- "Lots." I don't consider myself to be that heavy of a drinker- but I know I drink lots more than average people- judging from the forms.
And what is a drink exactly? Are they asking for a measured shot of alcohol in a mixer, or is it just by the glass? If it's by the glass, then I guess I won't look all that bad.
I saw " BUG " in Dallas last Saturday night. It was pretty damn good. The two woman in the cast were damned good. The audience handled the nudity pretty well, only one guy let out a yelp when the man in the show jumped out of the bed totally naked. Yes, the guy behind me YELPED when he saw penis. Was he surprised or excited? I don't know.
The set was amazingly realistic, right down to the working light fixtures, dirty sink, toilet, nasty bedspread, old motel room painting above the bed... It looked just like a cheap motel room ripped in half.
The violence was done realistically, and a scene involving the sound of a tooth being pulverized was pretty disturbing. Loved it!
I'd like to go see it again- but with gas prices so high, I don't think I'll go right back down. I'll be in Dallas again next month, to see DEBBIE DOES DALLAS.
These are supposedly 26 questions that no one would ever think to ask. Answer them, then REPOST (if you want to, I'm not the Boss of You)...
1. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you look at?
My eyes- are there bags?
2. How much cash do you have on you?
0.00. I rarely carry cash. I always use my debit card. There is a jar of change on my desk, however. Does that count?
3. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST":
4. Favorite planet?
Earth, I guess. It is
the only one where I've been.
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
6. What is your main ring tone on your phone?
"Popular" from WICKED. (Arent I gay?)
7. What shirt are you wearing?
a black tshirt. I'm not ready to go anywhere...
8. Do you "label" yourself?
9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing?
I'm not wearing any shoes. I told you that I'm not ready to go anywhere.
1o. Bright or Dark Room?
The one I'm in? It's getting a little bright, thanks to my bedrooms FIVE fucking windows.
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
He's damned cool.
12. Ever "spilled the beans"?
Oh hell yeah. Ooops.
13. What were you doing at midnight last night?:
14. What did your last text message you received on your cell phone say?
"Oh gosh I hate this Monday! I'm exhausted and sick of kids. hows your day goin?"
15. Do you ever click on "Pop Ups" or Banners?:
16. What's a saying that you say a lot?:
"Anyways..." or "Fuck."
18. Last furry thing you touched?:
some fabric at Wal-Mart.
19. How Many Drugs Have You Done In The Past Three Days?
2o. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?:
about three or four.
21. Favorite age you have been so far?:
17. or 21.
22. Your worst enemy?:
The evil at work. I won't speak her name.
23 What is your current desktop picture?:
an ad for "THE PILLOWMAN" on Broadway.
but I am bored with it so it will change today more than likely.
24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
"see ya later"
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a major regret?
A million bucks! NOW NOW NOW!
26. Do you love/ like someone?
Of course I do.
|Wednesday, September 21st, 2005|
LJ Interests meme results
- betty's summer vacation:
One of the funniest, freakiest, outrageously wonderful plays to have ever been written. Christopher Durang is nothing but incredible. I read and reread this play to no end. There's never been a time that the line "VOMIT IN THE SINK!" and the situation surrounding that moment in the play hasn't brought me to hysterics.
- david sedaris:
I was introduced to David Sedaris by my long lost friend, Will. I immediately bought everything published to that date and fell in love. It was a combination of funny and familiar. I felt as if I'd discovered a relative or something. As a child, I'd often iron my money, too. Only before special trips or days, though...
A wonderful and wonderfully weird musical written by Eric Woolfson, of Alan Parsons Project. It's about a man who becomes trapped in the Freud Museum when it closes for the day. When he falls asleep, he enters a parallel universe in which "the Freudiana" exist- living with the ghosts of his famous cases. The Freudiana were objects Freud loved and kept on his desk. The Man meets these case histories- The WolfMan, Little Hans, Dora, and others, then he must enter the maze of the Oedipus Complex to sort out his life's problem. The music is KICKASS.
- industrial symphony no. 1:
A beautiful and strange opera (?) musical (?) performance piece (?) by David Lynch and Angelo Baddalamenti. A woman is dumped by her boyfriend, and in her (?) dream, she floats around in what looks like a white prom dress, singing. Amazing. Very. Gives me chills, makes me cry, makes me understand. Something.
- las vegas:
I LOVE Vegas! I do! I always have so much fun. I prefer to stay Downtown. AND I LOVE LOVE LOVE to gamble! If you wanna go, let me know. I'm always up for a trip.
- modern art:
Art. What more to say?
- party monster:
I wish I had been older back then...
- serial killers:
How can I begin to describe my fascination with serial killers? It isn't an unhealthy fascination. I don't think.
- the match game:
I LOVE the Match Game. One of the best and funniest game shows ever. (The funniest would be THE 1.98 BEAUTY SHOW.) I love Brett Somers and I MORE than love Charles Nelson Reilly. Together, I love them even more. I love the episodes where it was clear they'd all had a little too much to drink.
- west memphis three:
I saw the documentary PARADISE LOST and became very interested, not to mention angry. I hope something can be done about this tragic and insane situation. I feel so bad.
Enter your LJ user name, and 10 interests will be selected from your interest list.
|Friday, September 16th, 2005|
so I have this idea for either a play, or a sitcom.
it's about a group of Hurricane Katrina victimes/refugees/evacueeeees from the "wrong side of the tracks," who find themselves suddenly living in a multmillion dollar cruise ship.
it'll be kinda like the Jeffersons meet the Beverly Hillbillies.
isn't that hilarious in that exploitative yet funny but wrong kinda way?